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mrswho 57, Female, North Carolina, USA - 34 entries

Jun 2010
7:49 AM EDT

I want to go where noone knows me.. that is my long term goal. Sad I know. Will I ever do it? IDK, it seems that its always about someone else.

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1 comment(s) - 06:13 PM - 06/06/2010

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joyousrobentus 35, Female, Australia - First entry!

Jun 2010
10:34 PM AEDT

1. Class allocations - I got the classes I needed. Having my academic career sorted is my main priority, so everything that I need to be successful is finally turning into good luck. I changed course for next semester and so i know i'm up for a good start. 2. Dyeing my hair - Because I need a new me for everything new about to happen. Changing my hair always marks a milestone in my life, this one is new. 3. Time to myself - I get to organise my life a bit. That intray is piling up! There's just a lot of sorting out, when you finally have the heart and the motivation.

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mrswho 57, Female, North Carolina, USA - 34 entries

Jun 2010
6:49 AM EDT

a goal without a plan is just a wish. Antoine de Saint-Exupery French writer

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ajax88 37, Female, DC, Washington, USA - 23 entries

Jun 2010
3:46 AM CST

Manichean Thoughts

In the beginning...the two "natures" or "substances", light and obscurity, good and evil, God and matter, coexisted, separated by a frontier. In the North reigned the Father of Greatness...in the South, the Prince of Darkness...the "disorderly motion" of matter drove the Prince of Darkness toward the upper frontier of his kingdom. Seeing the splendor of light, he is fired by the desire to conquer it. It is then that the Father decides that he will himself repulse the adversary. He...projects from himself, the Mother of Life, who...projects a new hypostasis, the Primordial Man...With his five sons, who are...his "soul" and "armor" made from five lights, the Primordial Man descends to the frontier. He challenges the darkness, but he is conquered, and his sons are devoured by the demons...This defeat marks the beginning of the cosmic "mixture", but at the same time it insures the final triumph of God. For obscurity (matter) now possesses a portion of light...and the Father, preparing its deliverance, at the same time arranges for his definitive victory against darkness. In a second Creation, the Father "evokes" the Living Spirit, which, descending toward obscurity, grasps the hand of the Primordial Man and raises him to his celestial homeland, the Paradise of Lights. Overwhelming the demonic Archontes, the Living Spirit fashions the heavens from their skins, the mountains from their bones, the earth from their flesh and their excretments...In addition, he achieves a first deliverance of light by creating the sun, the moon, and the stars from portions of it that had not suffered too much from contact with obscurity. Finally, the Father proceeds to a last evocation and projects by emanation the Third Messenger. The latter organizes the cosmos into a kind of machine to collect - and...to deliver - the still-captive particles of light. During the first two weeks of the month, the particles rise to the moon, which becomes a full moon; during the second two weeks, light is transferred from the moon to the sun and, finally, to its celestial homeland. But there were still the particles that had been swallowed by the demons. Then the messenger displays himself to the male demons in the form of a dazzling naked virgin, while the female demons see him as a handsome naked young man...fired by desire, the male demons...give forth their�semen, and, with it, the light that they had swallowed. Fallen to the ground, their semen gives birth to all the vegetable species. As for the female devils who were already pregnant, at the sight of the handsome young man they give birth to abortions, which, cast onto the ground, eat the buds of trees, thus assimilating the light that they contained. Alarmed by the Third Messenger's tactics, matter, personified as Concupiscence, decides to create a stronger prison around the still-captive particles of light. Two demons, one male, the other female, devour all the abortions in order to absorb the totality of light, and they then�couple. Thus Adam and�Eve�were engendered

--Mircea Eliade, �"A History of Religious Ideas"

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mourningcloak 70, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries

Jun 2010
3:52 AM EST

Today

I am trying to pull myself out of this lethargic funk I am in....I am home today and will try to get some stuff done.

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taylor2012ghs 31, Female, South Carolina, USA - 3 entries

Jun 2010
3:05 AM EST

taken

i noticed that every wall i look at here is white.
i notcied that every room temperature is cold.
i noticed that every patient in this place is sick.

no one is sicker than me.
no one has had their life taken from then like me.
no one is going through what i am like me.
no one has cancer here like me.

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dunamis 55, Male, Australia - 96 entries

Jun 2010
5:14 PM WST

men v women. unrealistic expectations

Seems, my wife thinks that being a man, means being a dog - literally.

Had these very exposing discussions last night with wife.

I postulated that there are characteristics in which men and women differ. I'm not talking physiology or biology, I'm talking more emotionally and socialogically. All humans possess traits and characteristics to varying degrees, irrespective of gender. But I said that there are some characteristics that women display, on average, more often than men. And there are some human qualities and characteristics that men display, on average, more often than women. This is neither good nor bad, it just is. It's an observation that has been made after correcting for age, culture, economic situation etc.

It's important to note that the characteristics I'm talking about are neutral. They're amoral. They don't carry a "good" or "bad" classification.

To qualify, I can find examples men who are more sensitive that some women. I can find fine examples of men, who will display strongly, those characteristics which women display on average more often than men. I can find women who are more aggressive than some men. There are always examples you can point to, but we're talking bell curve's here and yes, the bell curve's overlap.

She went on and on that it was no excuse. But she must have misheard me. There wasn't an attempt to make excuses, I was just stating a well accepted and statistically proven fact.

After much discussion (more like torture) she agreed that there are differences between men and women. But, here's the kicker, it turns out she thinks that any differences between men and women can be overcome by proper nuture of boys and better education.

Her argument is that characteristics that women display on average more often than men can be attained just as often by men if they were brought up properly and educated. She used road rage and slavery as examples.

When I asked her how she characterised men, she basically described a dog. She basically said all men think about is sex and procreation. She muttered something about grabbing tits, leaving mess about the place, being dirty. There was mention of abuse in the murky mix too.

So it was revealing. What I think she's saying, is that men are basically inferior humans to women and that if you can educate and nurture them better, they will display those characteristics that women currently display on average, more often.

It saddens me that she thinks of men in such a dim view, because I am one.

The conversation started because I think that marriages are suffering under the weight of false expectations. Mass media over the last thirty years has portrayed both men and women in a light which elevates expectations. Women expect men to be basically bigger versions of .... women! Men now wear women's clothes, makeup, and manscaping is a burgeoning industry. We have bromances, we're urged to get in touch with our feminine side, be sensitive, caring, in touch with our feelings, and have long conversations. We're urged to shun "typical male behavior" which is now frowned upon as being neanderthal and somewhat less human. In other words, we need to connect left brain and right brain and become more emotional beings. If only building synapses was so easy!

Men seem to expect to marry the hottest babe (who of course never slept around) but is highly charged sexually and who will stay slim and gorgeous for the rest of their married lives. We only have to look at leading ladies of the big screen. They all seem to stay hot no matter how old, or how many babies they have (and if they do let themselves go, they're never offered any more roles). Take Demi Moore, or Madonna as an example. For goodness sake, even Grandma Cher is in some creepy way still hot. But the reality is that once young women have married it is hard to keep up with the hair, the fake tan, the nails, and keep off the weight. Post childbirth, it's a hard road. It seems only a tiny minority can stay slim after one or three kids. That's just reality.

But back to the expectations.... An extremely funny video by Perfect Italiano, has a fencing expert practicing his listening face when his woman is not around. He can fence and listen. He can paint and listen. He can cook and listen to all her problems, and urgers her to "go on and on and on". It's a total crackup, but it's only funny, because it's ripping off reality.

I think if we could just understand the other gender, and realise that no matter how hard you try, you probably won't shift the bell curves and to have realistic expectations of one another. On a personal level, if you want to have a more harmonious marriage, you have to get to know the other person. You've got to leave your expecations on the threshold. It's fine to have expectations when your dating... that helps you choose your mate. But after you marry, the best you can expect is for them to be... them.

And you can't change that. You have to seek to understand, but after understanding, then accept and then choose to want that. I'm not advocating tolerance here. That's one degree above contempt. I'm advocating that you understand what you have, and choose to want what you have.

Being blinded by expecations serves no-one. Disappointment is a heartbreaker and it's hard to turn around from disappointment-ville. Disappointment comes from unmet expectations. Wouldn't it be better to expect men to be men, and women to be women? wouldn't it be easier to just understand the person you are with, than to make an idol of your expectations and in the glasshouse of idealism in which it's only a matter of time before the rock of reality smashes it all around you?

Idealism is for youth. Realism with optimism and wisdom is for the mature.

Realistically, men are never going to become women in bigger bodies no matter how much education and nurture, their nature predisposes them to display certain characteristics on average more often that women and other's less often. It will always be that way. Expecting anything different is like the first sign of madness... doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you keep making males, you'll keep getting the same results - on average.

Men aren't unrefined boorish, second rate humans any more than women are. It's just that characteristics men display on average more often aren't desirable in our society, and characteristics women display on average more often are held up as being the pinnacle of humanity.

Why else would researchers be developing a nasal spray of oxytocin (the female hormone) that men can use to achieve greater empathy?prayt Why not just implement castration once family planning is over? Forget about vasectomies, just cut the testes out and the whole world would be a happier, more harmonious caring place to live.

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1 comment(s) - 09:21 PM - 06/01/2010

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vampiricakatt 29, Female, Minnesota, USA - 102 entries

Jun 2010
10:34 AM EDT

WHY!

okay so I had to call the cops on my parents big deal, i have to watch my dad get drunk everynight so what,� I have to move away from the town i grew up in, Oh well, I wont be with my best friend, I have to deal with it, Things are never going to change, That better not come true. this is what is going on i told my grandparents i rather go to�a foster home then to live with my mom. and that i rather die then to see my dad get drunk everynight. No big deal. Right???

Tags: friends, pain, parents, sorrow, wonder

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1 comment(s) - 07:17 PM - 06/02/2010

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whoami? 40, Female, Nebraska, USA - 60 entries

Jun 2010
3:02 PM CST

positivity

Looking back on recent entries makes me realize how negative I was for quite some time. I was very much a despondent and it was not fun. I can't say this is completely out of my system, but I am definitely not in a state of depression like I was. This is in great thanks to God who came to my rescue after the prayers of great friends. I hate depression, and the power it has over me.

Anyways, positivity. Let's have a little of that. This weekend was nice, got to spend time at the lake and the pool, got free garden vegetables, planted my own garden, made curtains for Lydia's bedroom, watched the Bourne Trilogy (yeah!), got some things off of my to-do list, read encouraging and much needed hopeful responses to my recent journal entries, mowed the lawn, read perfect devotionals where God keeps telling me to stop wrestling in prayer, stop worrying, be patient and trust-there were just a lot of good things that happened this weekend. It'd be nice if this dumb dark cloud would stop following me though. It seems I can't really escape it. I just feel guilty all the time. I know I worked a lot of 50-60 hour weeks during the school year, but this is way too much compensation time. It makes me crazy. But I guess I still haven't quite learned how to use my time wisely. At least I'm getting there. And now it's go time! Three weeks of camp in June is going to make the month fly by! I hope it's fun though. I have to tell msyelf to have fun, and not take it all too seriously!

Need to keep thinking positive! Count my blessings and testify truth!

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Sportychicka92 33, Female, Florida, USA - 2 entries

Jun 2010
3:12 PM EDT

Wow. I haven't been on this for a GOOD while like freshmen year? I should get back to it :)

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